Birthday Mommy Guilt!

Can you ever really shake away the Mommy Guilt?  Today is my youngest son's birthday.  He is 4 years old.  After work yesterday I brought my oldest son to his drama class and then planned on rushing to buy a cake for the daycare before I had to pick him up.  Didn't think it would be so hard except that every cake I could come across in that hour had that little warning at the bottom of the ingredients list: May have come into contact with tree nuts!  Of course his daycare is peanut-free so I can't get any of those cakes.  As the clock was ticking I was getting more and more panicked that I wouldn't find his cake.  That's when the mommy guilt started to set in.  I could hear the little voice inside my head say: "I should have baked him a cake myself" (don't know when but I should have), "I should have spent the extra money and ordered a cake from a fancy bakery where I could make sure it was peanut free" (not really in my budget, but again, I should have).  Finally the hour was up when I had to go pick up my son from Drama class and I was cake-less- "Worst Mother of the Year".
Thankfully, my father agreed to help me and he is running around right now trying to get a cake for him to bring to the daycare.  I know it will be ok but I can't shake this Mommy Guilt!
That's one of the things that's hard about being a single, working parent.  You want to be able to get everything done but the fact is, there just aren't enough hours in the day!  I can get through the day-to-day pretty well but special events just throw me for a loop.  Thank goodness that I have the support from my father and brother to help me out because I don't know how I would be able to get things done otherwise.  I want to be able to give my kids everything they would get if they were part of a two parent home but sometimes I just can't.  I don't like to complain about it.  It's not really my style and I don't want anybody feeling sorry for me.  I love my life it's just hard sometimes.

New Best Friend: Super Mario

My kids have recently discovered Super Mario Bros.  They didn't really understand that it was a game at first- just 2 characters that would be fun to look like for Halloween.  It didn't take them long before they soon discovered that these two fun Italian plumbers were also part of a video game.  I caved and got a Wii, partly because I was feeling nostalgic and was looking forward to reliving playing Mario myself but also thought that it would be harmless fun for my boys.  What I didn't expect was the obsession that would soon take over.  The first thing they want to do in the morning is play Mario, I more than once had to unplug the console from the TV to get them the stop.  My boys even sometimes refer to themselves as Mario and Luigi.  Mommy guilt has firmly set in.  What have I done?  How could I let it get this far?  Last weekend I wasn't feeling very well and I have to admit that I turned on the video game and I was able to stay in bed and relax a bit while they played... Mommy guilt.
The truth is that I don't think that video games are all bad.  I think they help kids learn that practice make perfect and to persevere until they get it.  The trouble is they are so attractive to kids that it can often take over and it's all that they want to do.  I came across the following article from Circle of Mom: 8 Limits Make Video Games Good Your Kids by Sharon Silver. Reading it was such a life-saver for me.  It helped me realize that I could allow them to play the games but still find a balance with the rest of their life.  I especially liked the 3 rules that the author outlined:

1. Frustration = taking a break, like it or not.

2. Not Sharing = timers are used to make sure things stay fair.

3. Negotiations or begging for more time = no play for 24 hours.

They are simple, easy for kids of all ages to understand and clear.  I can now allow my boys to play with a little less Mommy guilt knowing that there are limits.  I also try to vary the games up like the author suggested so that I can try to make sure that some play time is a little more educational or active at times.

Things are not perfect, as I am writing this my youngest is begging to play video games but at least I can be a little bit reassured that it's a bit more controlled.