Dating to Not Regret

Everyone wants to be in love.  It doesn't stop because life is busy it just becomes complicated to fit it in.  I work full time as a teacher.  A job I love but that takes a lot of energy.  I then also have full custody of two beautiful young boys who, again, I adore but take a tremendous amount of energy!  When I do manage to get some time off going on a first date is the LAST thing I want to do!   I'm busy now and quite content actually.  I have a job I love and my boys take up the rest of my time.  Although the thought of being in a relationship is nice it's not something that I feel is imperative to my immediate happiness.  I feel quite fulfilled as it is so why would I waste the precious few moments of relaxation into the ultra stressful event of a first date!  Well, mostly because I know that I do want a happy fulfilling relationship eventually and I don't want to ever look back and say that I never even tried.
I hate dating!  The thought of meeting a man for a first date makes me feel sick to my stomach and very unwell.  Every time I have ever been on my way to a first date I would ask myself: "why do you put yourself through this misery?  It's the most uncomfortable thing I could put myself through.  I must be a masochist!" ... Well, not really, I just, like most people, want to be in love.  I really like the idea of growing old with someone.  I figure I'm young, early 30's and if I don't at least try, will I regret it 15 years from now when my boys are about ready to start their own lives and I will be alone with a very quiet empty nest?
So I'm going to keep trying and going to set up my online profile and squeeze it in in the moments few and far between when the boys are with their father or being babysat by my father or brother.  Maybe it will work out, maybe it will just give me some funny stories to share, a few free coffees or maybe I will meet the love of my life.... anything is possible! Gotta stay optimistic!

Getting Fit

The last time I had a physical my doctor said that I should be exercising more.  I know this, I have never really been a very sporty girl and now especially, other than running after my two boys- I don't have time to do much.  It was especially daunting when she said I should be doing at least 45 minutes, 3-4 times a week.  What?  When?!  Finding extra time for anything, especially time for me is always difficult.  Also, if I do manage to get some time off, the last thing I want to do is exercise.  I knew I had to come with a better idea.
One afternoon, as I was watching my kids play their Wii and trying to figure out how to get THEM off the couch it came to me.  If I can't beat them, join them!  I decided that we would all start exercising with the video game.
So, we got the "Wii Fit Plus", the balance board and a couple of nunchuk controls.  We were on our way!  I have to admit, so far it's been quite a success.  I am moving more, the boys join me and get to choose the exercises that I do.  They sometimes have me just run the basic run or sometimes even have a snowball fight on the game.  It's actually fun.  It' not very high intensity which is good for me right now as I am just beginning but enough to get me sweating a little bit.  As I get used to these exercises I might try out some games with a little more intensity.  It will also be warmer weather outside, so hopefully I will continue exercising out in the real world.  It was just the thing to help me move more.  Another bonus is that the Wii fit doesn't cut into my "me time".  It's something I do with the boys and it gets all of us exercising.

Every Other Weekend

Sometimes co-parenting has it's perks. It's nice to have a fixed time where the kids are with their father and I can just relax. It's sometimes difficult - the first time was really hard to see them sleep away from home, but, when I see that they really enjoy spending time with their father, I take advantage of that time. I often take it to reconnect with my friends. Since my oldest son was born, time with my friends (who don't have kids) diminished quite a bit. Now that I am seperated, I, strangely enough, have more time to see my friends. It is also without the guilt of leaving my kids. It took me a long time to get to this place in my mind and sometimes I hate having to negotiate everything with their father but I must admit I do like having a bit more me time. It's also a time when I can do that deep cleaning that sometimes seems impossible with two toddlers running around.

Nap Time

I just got them both down for their nap! It's not always easy to do especially since they share a room and sometimes encourage each other to stay up. It's a lot easier though since I try to keep their routine the same everyday. Even at daycare they take their naps or eat their snacks at around the same time each day. Routine has definitely kept me sane over these past couple of years. I think that's one really important tip with young children: have a consistent routine. It cuts out a lot of arguing because the kids know that it's not negotiable. It's also not perfect- there are nights when one or both of them refuses to go to bed but for the most part they do.
Another thing that has kept me sane is that during their nap time it is Mommy time! I try not to do too much housework during that time because I use it to relax. I often would catch up on the episodes of Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy that I slept through during the week or catch up on some reading. It really helps me re-energize to be able to be a better mom when I have those couple of hours on the weekend for myself.