Sunday, February 5, 2012

Do Nothing Weekends

We did nothing this weekend.  I always have big plans for the weekend.  I want to get all the chores done that I don't have the time to get to during the week.  Problem is that by the time the work week is done I am exhausted!  I feel very bad about it.  I SHOULD be going out with my boys bringing them to a place like the children's museum or even at least to the park but we didn't.  We hardly got out of our pyjamas this weekend.
It's one of the hard things about being a single mom.  I am constantly feeling like I should be doing more and then feeling guilty when I can't.  This weekend was not my proudest moment.  I get so tired that all I want to do is lounge on the couch and watch mindless tv.  I know I should be cleaning the floor or bringing the kids out but I sometimes just don't have the energy.  When the kids were younger I had nap time that I used to take as my 'do nothing' time but they no longer nap during the day at home.  I miss it!
I'm not always like this.  Some weekends I am really proud of myself for all the things I get done but sometimes the exhaustion just kicks in.  I have to say this because I have to remind myself that it's ok to have 'do nothing' weekends sometimes and that I do do a lot most of the time.  I guess it's hard because my house is never sparkling clean and I often have a basket of laundry lying somewhere waiting to be folded.  It's hard for me to say to myself - it's ok.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Birthday Mommy Guilt!

Can you ever really shake away the Mommy Guilt?  Today is my youngest son's birthday.  He is 4 years old.  After work yesterday I brought my oldest son to his drama class and then planned on rushing to buy a cake for the daycare before I had to pick him up.  Didn't think it would be so hard except that every cake I could come across in that hour had that little warning at the bottom of the ingredients list: May have come into contact with tree nuts!  Of course his daycare is peanut-free so I can't get any of those cakes.  As the clock was ticking I was getting more and more panicked that I wouldn't find his cake.  That's when the mommy guilt started to set in.  I could hear the little voice inside my head say: "I should have baked him a cake myself" (don't know when but I should have), "I should have spent the extra money and ordered a cake from a fancy bakery where I could make sure it was peanut free" (not really in my budget, but again, I should have).  Finally the hour was up when I had to go pick up my son from Drama class and I was cake-less- "Worst Mother of the Year".
Thankfully, my father agreed to help me and he is running around right now trying to get a cake for him to bring to the daycare.  I know it will be ok but I can't shake this Mommy Guilt!
That's one of the things that's hard about being a single, working parent.  You want to be able to get everything done but the fact is, there just aren't enough hours in the day!  I can get through the day-to-day pretty well but special events just throw me for a loop.  Thank goodness that I have the support from my father and brother to help me out because I don't know how I would be able to get things done otherwise.  I want to be able to give my kids everything they would get if they were part of a two parent home but sometimes I just can't.  I don't like to complain about it.  It's not really my style and I don't want anybody feeling sorry for me.  I love my life it's just hard sometimes.